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文革时学生与女售货员吵架，绝了！
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文革"时有一段时间，人们出门，无论说什么话，只要一开口，就必须说一句毛主席语录，然后再说要办的事。
中学生："关心群众生活－－－给我拿支钢笔。"
High school student: “take care of people’s life ----please show me a pen.”
售货员："为人民服务－－－你买哪一种？"
Shop-assistant: “serve the people ----which one do you like?”
中学生："我们都是来自五湖四海－－－多拿几支让我挑挑。"
“We are from all walks of life ---please give me a few more to choose.”
售货员："反对自由主义－－－不让挑，买哪支拿哪支。"
“Opposed to liberalism ----not allowed to choose, I will bring you one you want.”
中学生："我们的责任是向人民负责－－－你就多拿几种让我挑挑吧。"
“Our duty is to be responsible for people -----please let me have a few more to choose.”
售货员："在路线问题上没有调和的余地－－－说不挑就是不能挑。"
“There is no room for accommodation on the issue of political stand ----no choosing means no choosing.”
中学生："凡是敌人反对的，我们就要拥护－－－为啥不让挑?
“We must support whatever our enemy is opposing----why not?”
售货员："凡是敌人拥护的，我们就要反对－－－不为啥，不让挑就是不让挑。"
“We must oppose whatever our enemy is supporting ----nothing particular, no choosing just means no choosing at all!”
中学生："注意工作方法－－－有这样卖东西的吗？"
“Please heed your way of working ----how can you do your business like that?”
售货员："一切权力归农会－－－爱买就买。"
“All authority power belongs to peasants committee -----like it or lump it. That is it.”
中学生："打倒土豪劣绅－－－你这什么工作态度？"
“Down with local tyrants and evil gentry ----what type of working attitude is it?”
售货员："友谊，还是侵略－－－咋的，你想打架？"
“Friendship or aggression -----so what, do you want to pick a fight?”
中学生："凡是反动的东西，你不打他就不倒－－－你以为我怕你？"
“As long as it is reactionary stuff, if you don’t strike it, it won’t go down ----do you reckon I am afraid of you?”
我见两人的战争一触即发，就急忙上前调解："要团结不要分裂－－－你们有话好好说。"
When I saw the war was about to start, I immediately walked up to mediate ----unity rather than division -----please talk about it calmly”
中学生："将革命进行到底－－－我看你还能咋的？"
“Vow to carry our revolution on to the very end ----let me see what you can do now?”
中学生："人若犯我，我必犯人－－－你当个售货员啥了不起？"
“If people attack me, I will have to fight back -----what is a big deal to be a shop-assistant?
我看他俩谁也不肯停止舌战，我便劝中学生一走了之："敌进我退－－－你先走吧，明天再买。"
When I realized none of them would stop their “verbal war”, I therefore persuaded high school student to just walk out on him: “enemy is advancing, we should retreat ------you can leave here first, and then come to buy your pen tomorrow.”
中学生听了，就顺势下了台阶，转身而去，他边走边说："别了，司徒雷登－－－哼！
The high school student took the very opportunity to get off the hook, but he hissed his last few words while turned around to walk off: “Farewell, Leighton Stuart -----gosh”
"售货员如得胜的将军立即回敬道："一切反动派都是纸老虎－－－呸！"
The shop-assistant shot back immediately like a general that won the war: “all reactionaries are paper-tigers -------piss off!”
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